GROUP
BIBLE STUDIES ON CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
By Revd Dr Ifechukwu U. Ibeme
e-mail: ifeogo@yahoo.com
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CONTENTS:
STUDY
1: THE
CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
STUDY
2: THE
DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS
STUDY
3: THE
PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED
STUDY 1: THE
CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
TEXT: GEN 2:18-25; Matt 19:3-12
A. THE BASIS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
From the Institution of
marriage by God at Eden (Gen 2:18-25) and the Instruction on marriage by Christ
(Mark 10:1-12) and His Apostles (1Cor 7:8-17,39; Heb 13:4), the Church has been
able to deduce the Divine Intention about marriage as follows:
(i)
Christian Marriage: “Is a life long union and partnership between
one Christian man and one Christian woman to the exclusion of all others”. (All Anglican Constitutions).
(ii)
Christian marriage
Solemnization (or Marriage “IN THE LORD”, i.e. “according to God’s ordinance”): “Is marriage in which a Christian man and a
Christian woman entering into life-long exclusive union, for better for worse, till death parts
them, take their vows before God and the Church and seek God’s grace and the
Church’s blessing to fulfill such holy and honorable vows”. (The Revised Anglican Catechism)
B. DISCUSSIONS
1. What three main purposes
could you say that marriage was intended for?
See Book of Common Prayer (BCP).
(i)
Gen 1:28; 1Tim 3:4 and 12; 1Cor 7:14.
(ii)
Gen 2:18. Eccl4:9-12
(iii)
Gen 2:24; 1Cor 7: 1-5
2. (i) What does marriage symbolize about our
relationship with God or with Christ? Jer 3:14; Eph. 5:22- 33;
(ii) Could
you make other biblical references?
3. What do these seven distinctive of Christian
marriage mean to us today? Discuss
(i)
Man-Woman natural relationship Rom 1:24-27.
(ii)
Exclusive monogamous union
(iii)
Life-long, indissoluble covenant Rom 7:1-3
(iv)
Joined in God’s Name i.e. By God or in the Lord 1 Cor 7:39
(v)
As originally instituted by God
(vi)
Spouses leave parents to cleave together Gen 2:24; Ps
45:10, 16.
(vii)
Good, holy and honorable Prov. 18:22.
STUDY 2: THE
DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS
INTRODUCTION
True marriage customs is that
instituted by God in
1. Patriarchal Period (from Noah to Moses).
This period, authority for
validating and joining marriages was in the hands of the patriarchs as clan
Heads (Gen 24:1-6,31).
This is somewhat similar to our traditional marriages today.
(a) What marriage
pitfalls were introduced during this period? (e.g. Polygamy, Divorce, ( Concubinage etc)
(b) What problems do we
have with such pitfalls today?
(c) What further
distortions of marriage are still coming in through our traditional and civil
marriage system today (e.g. Single motherhood, Moving-in without marriage, Pregnant
bride wedding, etc).
2. Kingdom Period (After Exodus).
The Law of Moses transferred
the marriage validation authority to the City-Gate courts of Elders (Deut
4:11-13). This is similar to our civil marriages today.
(a) What pitfalls came
along during this time? (1kings 11:1-8, etc).
(b) How problematic
have these remained for us today?
3. Post-Exile Period (After the return from Babylonian
captivity)
From the time of Ezra the
Rabbi (see Ezra 9 and 10), the synagogues and their Rabbis replaced the
City-Gate courts. Ever since, marriage
validation and joining (even dissolution) among the Jews began to be held ONLY
in the synagogue. There the Rabbi
ensured that all was done on the basis of the Scripture.
(a) What marriage
corrections came in under the Rabbis who were learned in the scriptures? (e.g
Divorce limitation Mal 2:16; unequal yoke prohibition Ezr
9:1-4;Neh 13:23-27;etc).
(b) How much has the
Church Clergy of today improved on these reforms?
4. Church Age (After the Pentecost).
Led by the Holy Spirit, the
Apostles shifted synagogue activities including marriage validating authority)
to the locally gathered church and her clergy; hence the phrase, “marriage IN
THE LORD” (1Cor 7:39).
(a) What corrections or
reforms were brought on marriage at this time?
E.g. Monogamy 2Tim3:12; Marriage ONLY in the Lord 1Cor 7:39;
Indissoluble till death Rom 7:1-3; Matt 19:7-9; No unequal yoking 2Cor 6:14;
etc).
(b) How far are you
prepared to insist on patterning your marriage and those of your dependants
after the Scripture?
(c) When and where do
you suppose marriages are covenanted according to God’s holy ordinance as
taught by Christ?
(d) Do traditional and
civil marriages qualify to authorize Christians to begin to live as husbands
and wives? 0r should they not wait till they are joined according to God’s holy
ordinance by the Church.
STUDY 3: THE
PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED
INTRODUCTION
After a man has desired
and decided to get married, and prayerfully discovered who he
thinks the wife should be, there remains certain stages and procedures to go
through, before coming to the point of receiving valid authority and approval
to live as husband and wife.
(a) How important
is it for those with prospects of getting married to have good understanding of
the principles, purpose
and process of Christian marriage before going into marriage?
(b) How could this
knowledge and understanding be acquired?
(c) Should marriage
counseling begin at this preliminary stage?
1. Stage of Consent/Agreement:
When intentions for marriage are declared, accepted and confirmed.
(a) Apart from
ensuring that your intended partner shares the same faith and commitment to
Christ with you (1Cor 6:14), what
medical tests are necessary before one gives a definite consent for marriage? (e.g serious incurable and transmissible diseases like
HIV and Sickle cell, etc).
(b) What social
enquiries should be made about your intended spouse?
(c) How important
are these precautions?
2. Stage of Commitment/Engagement: When the would-be spouses
are betrothed by their families and proper family requirements are fulfilled.
(a) All Anglican Church constitutions allow
traditional betrothals and engagements for our members on the condition that the ceremonies MUST NOT BE IDOLATROUS nor anti-Christian. Mention some of those things Christians must strive to avoid during
traditional engagements.
(b) Parental
consent is important for marriage but ONLY the Church and her Clergy has the
valid authority to join Christian
couples IN THE LORD. How is this
demonstrated during our wedding service?
(c)
Are traditional and civil marriages adequate to authorize Christians to
live as husbands and wives? Why?
3. Stage of Covenant/Solemnization: When the bride and groom
are joined or wedded to become husband and wife in a marriage covenant that is
according to the teachings of Christ.
This marks the true and valid beginning of lifelong matrimony for
Christians. ONLY from this point is the
couple free to consummate their union as one flesh (Gen 2:25).
(a) The Church expects
that couples who come for joining should be chaste (hence the veil Gen 24:63)
and morally pure (hence the white
gown Eph 5:27). In what objective way
could the Church possibly ascertain the
sincerity of the couple in this regard?
(b) In the Anglican
Church “WHITE” is the color for purity (Rev 19:8,) hence the Church has
reserved white wedding for marriages
that have followed full Christian standards.
In the event of remarriage of widows or marriage
blessing for couples already with child (pregnant or born), white wedding is
not used, but gowns of other colors
are allowed. Many couples prefer pink, following the tradition in some Asian
countries. What do you feel and think
about this corrective measure?
(c) Why do you
think it is necessary to inform the Parish Priest and the Church of wedding
intentions at last 3 months before the
date?
(d) What other
responsibilities are intending couples expected to fulfill towards the Church?
(e) Should the
officiating Minister charge his marrying parishioners for his services before
he agrees to conduct the
solemnization? If not what do you think
is appropriate and why?
Last revised: October 27, 2006
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