GROUP BIBLE STUDIES ON CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

By Revd Dr Ifechukwu U. Ibeme

e-mail: ifeogo@yahoo.com

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CONTENTS:

STUDY 1:  THE CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

STUDY 2:   THE DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

STUDY 3:   THE PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED

 

 

 

STUDY 1:  THE CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

 

TEXT:  GEN 2:18-25; Matt 19:3-12

                                          

 

A. THE BASIS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE 

 

From the Institution of marriage by God at Eden (Gen 2:18-25) and the Instruction on marriage by Christ (Mark 10:1-12) and His Apostles (1Cor 7:8-17,39; Heb 13:4), the Church has been able to deduce the Divine Intention about marriage as follows:

 

(i)                Christian Marriage:  “Is a life long union and partnership between one Christian man and one Christian woman to the exclusion of all others”.  (All Anglican Constitutions).

 

(ii)             Christian marriage Solemnization (or Marriage “IN THE LORD”, i.e. “according to God’s ordinance”):  “Is marriage in which a Christian man and a Christian woman entering into life-long exclusive  union, for better for worse, till death parts them, take their vows before God and the Church and seek God’s grace and the Church’s blessing to fulfill such holy and honorable vows”.  (The Revised Anglican Catechism)

 

B. DISCUSSIONS

 

1. What three main purposes could you say that marriage was intended for?  See Book of Common Prayer (BCP).

(i)                Gen 1:28; 1Tim 3:4 and 12; 1Cor 7:14.

(ii)             Gen 2:18. Eccl4:9-12

(iii)           Gen 2:24; 1Cor 7: 1-5

 

2.       (i)      What does marriage symbolize about our relationship with God or with Christ?  Jer 3:14; Eph. 5:22-                          33;

     (ii)     Could you make other biblical references?

 

 

3.  What do these seven distinctive of Christian marriage mean to us today?    Discuss

(i)                Man-Woman natural relationship Rom 1:24-27.

(ii)             Exclusive monogamous union

(iii)           Life-long, indissoluble covenant Rom 7:1-3

(iv)           Joined in God’s Name i.e. By God or in the Lord 1 Cor 7:39

(v)             As originally instituted by God

(vi)           Spouses leave parents to cleave together Gen 2:24; Ps 45:10, 16.

(vii)        Good, holy and honorable Prov. 18:22.

 

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STUDY 2:   THE DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

 

INTRODUCTION

True marriage customs is that instituted by God in Eden.  God’s original purpose for marriage was for a lifelong monogamous companionship (Gen 2:18-25) to raise godly children that will dominate the earth (Gen.1:28).  Many cultures have departed from this divine pattern since the time of Lamech (Gen 4:19).  The corruption of marriage contributed to the destruction of the first world (Gen 6:1-7).  Further corruption of marriage is going on today and who knows what this would lead to in our era.

 

1. Patriarchal Period (from Noah to Moses). 

This period, authority for validating and joining marriages was in the hands of the patriarchs as clan Heads (Gen 24:1-6,31).  This is somewhat similar to our traditional marriages today.

 

(a)  What marriage pitfalls were introduced during this period? (e.g. Polygamy, Divorce, ( Concubinage etc)

 

(b) What problems do we have with such pitfalls today?

 

(c)  What further distortions of marriage are still coming in through our traditional and civil marriage system        today (e.g. Single motherhood, Moving-in without marriage, Pregnant bride wedding, etc).

 

2. Kingdom Period (After Exodus). 

The Law of Moses transferred the marriage validation authority to the City-Gate courts of Elders (Deut 4:11-13). This is similar to our civil marriages today.

 

(a)  What pitfalls came along during this time? (1kings 11:1-8, etc).

 

(b) How problematic have these remained for us today?

 

3. Post-Exile Period (After the return from Babylonian captivity)

From the time of Ezra the Rabbi (see Ezra 9 and 10), the synagogues and their Rabbis replaced the City-Gate courts.  Ever since, marriage validation and joining (even dissolution) among the Jews began to be held ONLY in the synagogue.  There the Rabbi ensured that all was done on the basis of the Scripture.

 

(a)  What marriage corrections came in under the Rabbis who were learned in the scriptures?  (e.g Divorce limitation Mal 2:16; unequal yoke prohibition Ezr 9:1-4;Neh 13:23-27;etc).

 

(b) How much has the Church Clergy of today improved on these reforms?

 

4. Church Age (After the Pentecost). 

Led by the Holy Spirit, the Apostles shifted synagogue activities including marriage validating authority) to the locally gathered church and her clergy; hence the phrase, “marriage IN THE LORD” (1Cor 7:39).

 

(a)  What corrections or reforms were brought on marriage at this time?  E.g. Monogamy 2Tim3:12; Marriage ONLY in the Lord 1Cor 7:39; Indissoluble till death Rom 7:1-3; Matt 19:7-9; No unequal yoking 2Cor 6:14; etc).

 

(b) How far are you prepared to insist on patterning your marriage and those of your dependants after the Scripture?

 

(c)  When and where do you suppose marriages are covenanted according to God’s holy ordinance as taught by Christ?

 

(d) Do traditional and civil marriages qualify to authorize Christians to begin to live as husbands and wives? 0r should they not wait till they are joined according to God’s holy ordinance by the Church.

 

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STUDY 3:   THE PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED 

 

INTRODUCTION

                                                                   

After a man has desired and decided to get married, and prayerfully discovered who he thinks the wife should be, there remains certain stages and procedures to go through, before coming to the point of receiving valid authority and approval to live as husband and wife.

 

(a) How important is it for those with prospects of getting married to have good understanding of the principles,   purpose and process of Christian marriage before going into marriage?

 

(b) How could this knowledge and understanding be acquired?

 

(c) Should marriage counseling begin at this preliminary stage?

 

1. Stage of Consent/Agreement:  When intentions for marriage are declared, accepted and confirmed.

 

(a) Apart from ensuring that your intended partner shares the same faith and commitment to Christ with you     (1Cor 6:14), what medical tests are necessary before one gives a definite consent for marriage? (e.g serious      incurable and transmissible diseases like HIV and Sickle cell, etc).

 

(b) What social enquiries should be made about your intended spouse?

 

(c) How important are these precautions?  

 

2. Stage of Commitment/Engagement: When the would-be spouses are betrothed by their families and proper family requirements are fulfilled.

 

(a)  All Anglican Church constitutions allow traditional betrothals and engagements for our members on the         condition that the ceremonies MUST NOT BE IDOLATROUS nor anti-Christian. Mention some of those   things Christians must strive to avoid during traditional engagements.

 

(b) Parental consent is important for marriage but ONLY the Church and her Clergy has the valid authority to      join Christian couples IN THE LORD.  How is this demonstrated during our wedding service?

 

      (c)  Are traditional and civil marriages adequate to authorize Christians to live as husbands and wives? Why?

 

3. Stage of Covenant/Solemnization: When the bride and groom are joined or wedded to become husband and wife in a marriage covenant that is according to the teachings of Christ.  This marks the true and valid beginning of lifelong matrimony for Christians.  ONLY from this point is the couple free to consummate their union as one flesh (Gen 2:25).

 

(a)  The Church expects that couples who come for joining should be chaste (hence the veil Gen 24:63) and         morally pure (hence the white gown Eph 5:27).  In what objective way could the Church possibly ascertain      the sincerity of the couple in this regard?

 

(b) In the Anglican Church “WHITE” is the color for purity (Rev 19:8,) hence the Church has reserved white    wedding for marriages that have followed full Christian standards.  In the event of remarriage of widows or    marriage blessing for couples already with child (pregnant or born), white wedding is not used, but gowns of      other colors are allowed. Many couples prefer pink, following the tradition in some Asian countries. What do you feel and think about this corrective measure?

 

(c) Why do you think it is necessary to inform the Parish Priest and the Church of wedding intentions at last 3    months before the date?

 

(d) What other responsibilities are intending couples expected to fulfill towards the Church?

 

(e) Should the officiating Minister charge his marrying parishioners for his services before he agrees to conduct the solemnization?  If not what do you think is appropriate and why?

                                                                                     

 

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Last revised: October 27, 2006

 

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