LOVE

By Revd Dr. Ifechukwu U. Ibeme

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PriscAquila Christian Resource Centre

PREAMBLE

“Love” is a word that is most common and yet most complex. It is often most used but least understood. “LOVE” does not have one or two sides to it but many sides.

When we say we love something or somebody we either mean that we have affection for such or that we derive pleasure from such. So love may mean giving or getting, which is either selfless or selfish. Experience shows that people love what they once hated or hate what they once loved, so love is variable in its object. People also love certain things or persons more than others, so love has variations of depths.

I had defined love thus:

“LOVE is kindness that is ready to endure and suffer for another to enjoy and benefit. LOVE is benevolence that delights to offer pleasure and benefit to another. At its deepest or highest level, LOVE is the concern that is determined to serve and give the good to another.

On the other hand, LOVE is fondness that delights to derive and share pleasure and benefit among one another” – I. U. IBEME

WRONG USE OF ‘LOVE’ TODAY

The first thing that comes to mind when “LOVE” is used today is sexual relationship. However in the Scriptures when “LOVE” is mentioned, it means something much more sublime. As a mater of fact, the Bible hardly refers to sexual intercourse as Love or Love-making. We all know that sexual intercourse could be “hate-making” when it is a rape. So the Scriptures prefer to use other words such as

“KNOW” (Gen 4.1), “WHOREDOM/ADULTERY” (Heb. 13:4b),

“PLAY” (Exd. 32:6), “MARITAL-COITUS” (Heb. 13:4a),

“DEFILE” (Lev 18:20-25), “OBLIGATION/DUE of marriage” (1 Cor. 7:3),

“CHEER” (Deut 24:5); “RAPE/RAVISH” (Isa 13:16),

“IMMORALITY/LEWDNESS” (Ezk 23:21).

Only in one circumstance (which is in marriage) is sexual intercourse described as true love in the Scriptures otherwise sexual intercourse is not love-making. It could either be ‘sin-making’ or ‘hate-making’ when outside marriage.

THE MEANING OF “LOVE”

There are two main aspects to LOVE or two types of LOVE.

1. Ravishing Love/Lower love/Hot-blooded love/Koites love

This shall be discussed under (1) Eros

and (2) Epithumia

2. Rational Love/Higher love/Cool-headed love/Koinonia love

This shall be discussed under (1) Phileo

and (2) Agape

1. RAVISHING (LOWER) LOVE (Heb. 13:4b)

This is the love that is sexual. It involves sexual desire, arousal, seduction, satisfaction, attraction, infatuation, inflammation and the like. Ravishing love is low enough for animals and the insane to engage in it fully.

This aspect of love is exclusively permitted between a man and woman in the context of marriage. Otherwise it is evil, sinful, destructive and abominable.

This is the love that could either be yielded to intentionally when one lets it (Prov. 5:19a) or could over-take or overwhelm one unintentionally when it enraptures one off-guard (Prov. 15:9b).

Those who have the Spirit of God and give heed to God’s Word must not only resist and watch against this but also flee from the possibility of fornication and all its appearances (1 Cor. 16:18; 10:14).

Within marriage ravishing love is not defiled (Heb 13:4a). In fact it is an obligation for married couples (1 Cor 7:3).

Two Greek words describe the two stages or aspects of this type of ravishing love.

(a) Eros:

This word does not appear in the Bible but matches some description of amorous love in the Bible for instance:

−Sensual love (Song 4:9)

−Romantic fantasy love (Prov. 5:19)

Eros describes falling in love or infatuation fantasy that involves admiration and attraction, with a desire to posses and own the object of such love.

Outside marriage, Eros is inordinate affection (Col. 3:5) or lewdness/lasciviousness/evil concupiscence (Ezk 23:11)

Eros is the grabbing love that desires to HAVE and ADMIRE.

(b) Epithumia:

– Sexual love or carnal passion or lust (Col. 3:5; Rom 7:8; 1Thes 4:5)

− Conjugal or coital pleasure (Heb 13:4: Deut 2:4:5)

− Craving with passion.

Epithumia is affection or lust or concupiscence that craves passionately to use the object of such love for self-satisfaction, especially of sexual desires or needs. This describes making love, inflammation with passion that seeks for satisfaction.

Epithumia must be sanctified for only one’s marriage spouse otherwise it is defiled. Epithumia is the marriage coital cleaving or cheering

Epithumia is the deriving love that craves to HAVE and HOLD.

2. RATIONAL (HIGHER) LOVE (Heb 13:1; John 21:15-17)

This is the love that is communal and congenial, mutual and sacrificial, fondly and fraternal, sharing and caring, selfless and kind. Rational Love is applied to friends and foes. It is offered to the good and the bad, though only the good is able to offer or appreciate (and benefit from) this high level love.

While Ravishing Love is instinctively carnal and necessarily regulated, Rational Love is a grace given without regulation. There is no law against Agape and its entire offspring (Gal. 5:22-23) and there is no fear in Agape (1 John 4:18).

This is the love that can be taught and learned (Eph. 5:25, Tit 2:8) as well as shed abroad from God to be received (Rom 5:5). This is the love bond that unites people in a peaceful, joyful and caring relationship (Col. 3:14).

Whenever LOVE is mentioned in the Church or in the Scriptures, this is the LOVE that is meant. For, this is the only LOVE that could be received from Christ or be shown to God.

(a) Phileo:

- This is a biblical word for “LOVE”

- Fraternal/Friendly fondness (John 13:23; 21:17)

- Familial/Uniting affection

– Rom 12:10 – Philostorgos (Affectionate)

− Heb 13:1 – Philadelphos (Brotherly)

– John 5:20 – Father and Son (Filial)

Phileo describes the love that desires and delights in sharing and being attached in oneness, unity and peace. This love rejoices in giving and taking in a congenial atmosphere, offering what it has and receiving what it lacks.

Phileo is the sharing love that delights to HAVE and GIVE

(b) Agape:

-This is the love that is found only in God and received only from God, by His Spirit (Rom 5:5). Agape is supernatural and infallible (1 Cor. 13:5). It is outgoing, self-giving, sacrificial and benevolent to the uttermost.

-Agape is a peculiar Biblical love and its definition is found in

the odes of Love in 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4.

-Agape favours, provides, protects, supports, helps, comforts,

motivates and condones the object of its loves.

-Although Agape is inherently destructive to evil and the

ungodly; yet it is blissful to the godly and blends with good.

-To posses Agape is to blend with infallible eternity (1 Cor

13:13).

Agape describes a compelling sense of commitment to help and care, to spend and be spent.

\ Agape is a caring concern that is committed to SERVE and GIVE

Agape moved God with compassion to give His Son, Jesus Christ for our salvation (John 3:16, 35; Rom 5:5, 8)

God is LOVE and God’s LOVE is in Christ, the Son (1 John 4:8, 16).

Last Updated December 31, 2007

By The Revd Dr. I. U. Ibeme

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PriscAquila Christian Resource Centre